My Top Movies of the Decade

This is the first year Mike and I are without any children at home. Needless to say, I am waxing nostalgic. And so, let me bore you with my Top Ten countdown of the Wideman Family Christmas Tradition memories:

10. Stockingless stuffers. We never had hooks to hang stockings...or even stockings for everyone for that matter, so I either put out shoes or plates on the fireplace or table. The plates still had the token orange, hot chocolate packets, peanuts in the shells, a cheap toy, and candy. Usually no one ate the oranges, but I always received one as a child so I kept up the tradition our family.

9. Christmas Eve Shopping/Wrapping. Up to Christmas Eve, the bottom of the tree would be barren of presents. For years, we had no money to buy presents and whatever would come, would come Christmas Eve from kind, anonymous people. But for about three Christmases in a row, Mike's father would sent $100 to buy children presents (which seemed like a thousand dollars at the time) and we purchased them on Christmas eve. After the children were in bed, Mike and I would head out to the local drug stores...buying presents at stocking stuffer prices. What a thrill it was to buy our own presents for our children! Years after, when we did have money to buy, we would still make our Christmas Eve run...at least for stocking stuffers...and it was still fun. Most of you also know that regardless of me finally purchasing gifts ahead, that the wrapping took place Christmas eve. I would just close myself in a room and wrap and wrap for hours and hours.

8.Christmas food. 'Must-haves' that make Christmas Christmas for me include: æbelskivers (for breakfast), eggnog, cranberry waldorf salad, a piece of homemade fudge, potatoes with gravy, mincemeat pie, fruitcake, peppermint ice cream with hot fudge and crushed candy cane, jelled cranberry sauce, and last, but not least, my stuffing! I grew up with my favorites and they really were not what my husband's family wanted/served, however it never was Christmas for me until I butted my way into his family, who had cornbread dressing, and brought my own traditional bread/sage/giblet dressing...(with mushrooms). If I wanted these foods (and Christmas dinner was not at my house) I had to bring them myself, because others would rather have their own favorites. I also like to try new recipes in with my old, so the 'same ol, same ol' doesn't get boring. One of these days, I will make the Carrot Pudding with Lemon Sauce that I loved so much as a child. It is just a ton of work and time....which I guess I have now.

7. Decorating the tree.  Notice that I said decorating (as in the process, not the final product). This always happened on the Saturday following Thanksgiving or the Monday FHE thereafter. The same old fake tree that we once discovered in an attic from a rental house would come down from our attic...along with the string of lights and old ornaments. I would make hot chocolate if it was cold or have eggnog if it was hot and we would put on our traditional record, or CD, of The Carpenters Christmas Carols and sing along as we did our ordered, normal jobs. Dad would put up the tree, then string the lights. Mom would put the trim, then hand ornaments to the children (who would parade back and forth in line to get another). One year we did tinsel, and it never quite came off in the following years.  I always wanted a coordinated tree. Coordinated, in that it had a theme (color, trim, and ornaments) but I always got outvoted because those macaroni, paper ornaments with children's pictures on them from school were the favorite ornaments and  HAD to be on the tree.

6. Receiving, with gratitude. This should be at the bottom of my list because this is not what Christmas means to me. (Christmas lists have always been a sore point with me because it started people/children thinking about what they wanted, instead of what they could give). However, I do include this on my list because there have been many who have given so much to our family...and I remember...with deep gratitude. 1) Once, I was at a Relief Society party and mentioned how much I missed having Christmas with my family. One lady got me to tell what my family did that made Christmas special. I remember telling her we woke up and had æbelskivers before we opened presents. She didn't know what they were, but asked all sorts of questions. Christmas morning, there on my doorstep was an æbelskiver pan with a big red bow on it. I knew it was her, but she gave it anonymously. She had to have gone to a great deal of trouble to locate such a 'specialty' pan.  2) For two years in a row our children received Christmas presents from organizations. One was from a foster care organizations-not because my children were in foster care, but because my visiting teacher (Whit Slaegle?) was heading up the gift giving in that organization and she added my children to the list. The next year, she was in charge again and matched our children's names with Krogers on Kuykendahl. I remember a blue plastic picnic table was one of their gifts. 3) Another year, I had a redheaded lady (I think it was Jenny Kaisek) for a visiting teacher. She somehow figured out all my children's sizes and bought them all jackets, hats, and mittens...leaving them anonymously on our porch and running down the street to her car...but I saw that red hair waving in the wind. I hadn't even thought that our children needed jackets. We only had two rooms in our house with space heaters, so we would huddle in the two rooms with closed doors and do everything in there. When we went anyplace else, we had sweaters, but I never thought that we needed jackets. Someone else did. What a sweetheart. 4) Our next door neighbors in Forest North were the Batistas. For two years they brought the children goodies and presents. Even after we moved, when we went back to carol, they had presents waiting for our children. 5) One year, the Ellers, a family in our church, donated their toys to our children. The father dressed up like Santa and came to our home to hand out the presents. I remember David saying, "I know you! You're from the Elfer's Quorum!" 6) Next, I remember the money from Mike's father. Completely unexpected. It gave Mike and I the joy of giving to our own children. Before then, we really couldn't. We had 6 children...and other people were giving them presents. When Mike's father gave us that money, it was earmarked for presents...not bills. Presents, WE got to buy. That was a feeling we hadn't experienced in so long. It was a feeling we needed. We were so grateful to him...giving to grandchildren he had yet to even see. 7) There was a year that Brother Maples gave Mike a long grey overcoat and handed him a $100 dollar bill. I believe there were others in our church who gave us money that year, too. 8) There was a year when our neighbors, the Gundlochs left two sacks of presents for our children on the doorstep...anonymously. We smelled the cigarette smoke on the packages, so we knew it was them, but they never claimed to do it. What a nice thing they did! 9) One Christmas, in particular, when we would have been homeless, we were living with the Lewis family, sharing Christmas with them. 10) I must also thank those of Mike's family who did  give presents at Christmas (his mom often gave money), but also, throughout the year. I don't know all who gave to us when we were so poor. If you were one, I hope you were rewarded in secret...as you so gave! There are good people everywhere. In this season of giving, I remember the gratitude I felt as the recipient of many gifts. Thank you all.

5. Giving. Since my family has been the recipient of so much giving, one would think we never gave...but we did. Perhaps not like other families, who had lots of money, but in other ways: 1) The tradition we have maintained in our extended family gatherings (that was identical to my own previous family) is that the presents were given out one at a time and everyone watched the person open the present. No matter how little the gift, the giver watched with delight as their gift was opened by the recipient, giving time to the person to express joy and gratitude to the 'giver'. The focus was not on what we got, but what we gave. 2) One particular Christmas, we started the Christmas season with a Thanksgiving service project. Our Primary (of which I was then the president) had collected canned goods, made nut breads, and bought hams to put in baskets. We called down to another inner-city congregation and got names and addresses of senior citizens to whom we could bring the gifts. We had assigned children to vans with drivers (each would deliver two to three baskets and sing a Thanksgiving hymn at their doorstep). When we came back from the experience, we had a testimony meeting. I will never forget that year. We were in a relatively affluent congregation, and well-to-do teachers were tearfully telling of seeing poverty they didn't know existed in Houston, how grateful the people were-crying tears of joy as the children sang the words, "God, our Maker doth provide." What started as a Primary activity day, started a chain reaction of individual service activities that lasted through the entire Christmas season. I will never forget that year, how the feeling of giving consumed our congregation. 3) Another year, when our family was very poor, we put all our emphasis on giving to our Savior for Christmas and had a makeshift manger (made from scrap lumber) on our fireplace. Every time the children served one another, they were allowed to place a piece of straw in the manger under the 'baby Jesus". 4) Family Home Evening service/anonymous-giving nights became a practice as the children got older. Sometimes we wrote and sent packages to missionaries or servicemen from our ward. There were two years that we had a Family Home Evening where we each had an amount of money to spend on a family. Each child went their own way in a grocery store as we purchased our items to put in a sack and anonymously leave on someone's doorstep. 5) Some years, we would know someone who needed help and were able to send money or whatever they needed. This year, Mike and I, empty-nesters, went down a list of people that we wanted to help. Now that we have no children at home, we have money to help others. Funny how that works. "Because we have been given much, we, too, must give".

4. The Nativity. As I began my own family, I kept my previous family's traditions on Christmas Eve. We read the scriptural account of Jesus' birth, sang hymns, said family prayer, and drank hot cocoa before retiring to bed. When the children were young, we showed a video of the nativity, read additional heartwarming stories, and/or dressed them up to act out the nativity. We tried not let even the mention of Santa Claus enter into the prelude of this sacred ritual with our children before bed on this night.

3. Christmas Music. Coming home from Thanksgiving dinner, we would turn the station to Sunny 99.1 and sing traditional Christmas songs with the radio all the way home. In fact, it would set the tone for Christmas, by putting that music in our minds and hearts all the way till Christmas. Occasionally, I would yearn for Christmas music ahead of Thanksgiving and play the Messiah, singing from my own copy, just to give me my 'soul' food. For several years I sang with the Tomball Community Chorus. The Christmas concerts filled my 'music' need for Christmas. One year I sang the Messiah with the Klein Stake. Another, I joined the Fellowship of the Woodlands to sing in their Messiah. Another year, I was president of our Houston North stake choir as we performed the Messiah. Another musical tradition was filled with our children all being musical. They all played an instrument and/or sang in one or more school musical groups. Multiply that by 6 children and you have a lot of concerts to attend! We attended Christmas concerts ranging from the Roth Singers, Hildebrandt orchestra, band, or choir, Schindewolf band and choir, Klein Oak and Klein Collins orchestra, band, and choirs, to the All-Region band, orchestra, and choir concerts (that tended to all fall around Christmas). And who can forget all those TubaChristmases downtown, vibrating the festive 'bass' spirit through Houston  and music-hearted people? As far as Christmas Sunday music, usually, I was either directing or singing in a choir or ensemble performance for the Christmas service, so the rehearsals also filled my need for music. 

2. Caroling with cookies. Every year, I would bake several kinds of cookies (Lemon Whippersnaps, brownies, green (holly) marshmallow cornflake wreaths (or drops)...with red hots, chocolate chip cookies, ginger ball cookies, refrigerator oatmeal cookies-half of which was eaten raw, frosted Christmas sugar cooky bells or stars, zebra cookies, chocolate-covered cherry cookies, peanut butter blossoms, and the no-bake cocoa/oatmeal drop cookies (that David used to make every week) , etc. We would all pile in our car to go to church members and/or run up and down the street to our neighbors with plates of cookies, ring the doorbell, and sing. As our children grew up, we would sing in 4-part harmony. One of our favorites was Carol of the Bells, but we would always end with We Wish You a Merry Christmas.

1. Home with family. If I couldn't be home with my family or extended family (which has been every single Christmas I have been married, except one), I would call or receive calls home. What a treat to talk to all my brothers, sister, and parents. I would call them all, then call my mom and dad and just talk about all the news. I wish we could have been together, but on Christmas, a beloved call was expected, and received,  from all the appendages of 'home'. More often than not, that was the ONLY present my mom and dad received. When my children left for missions or were gone to their own families, the highlight of my Christmas was the phone call home that I, with heightened anticipation, was expecting... . Their voices filled my heart with warmth and longing to see them again.

now that I've got my adrenaline pumping from another purse theft scare! The first 'theft' was two years ago when someone  put it on the top of a book shelf in my room at school that was about 7 feet tall. (I assume I left it on a desk and a janitor put it there for safe keeping). Anyway, after reporting it missing to the police and canceling all my credit cards, I found it...two weeks later. Nothing taken. Just sitting up there where no one would see it. I will not begin to tell you the humiliation I went through as I had to cancel my police report and one time accidentally used a canceled card and the store called the police all the while I am standing in line waiting...holding up customers....for what seemed like hours.

The 2nd scare was tonight. I had an online order all set to go and needed my credit card number, so I went downstairs (where I always keep my purse) and it wasn't there. I looked everywhere, retraced where I had been with it that day, and started freaking out that I had left in in the restroom at Target on a hook (because my husband didn't want a purse in his cart when I went....notice the blame was already escalating at this point). Mike checked the car. No purse. We called Target and gave a detailed description. No purse. I was upset that we didn't leave my number with them just in case it turned up, because they sure wouldn't get it from Kevin's cell in my purse. Next Mike went online, checking our purchases with our credit cards online. We were OK...so far. We checked everywhere in the house and car again. No purse. Next Mike got on the phone with USAA and began canceling our credit cards. I was so upset I went into the computer room to cancel my online purchase... and low and behold, there was the purse on the floor (hiding behind the chair) next to the computer. I immediately yelled down to Mike to stop canceling the cards...I had found the purse. I could hear the sheepish embarrassment in his voice as he told them it was a false alarm. They must think we are total ditzes. Two false purse thefts (and one legitimate identify theft) in 3 years!